Relations..

You ever say things that get you in trouble? I do. It happens a lot actually. When you were growing up, you were brutally honest. Kids get away with all the classic one-liners, "You have a misshaped head.", "That fat lady has big veins on her legs.", "It's funny the way midgets run.", while adults have to try and be subtle and respect the feelings of others, I say Fuck that! Fuck it in the ear so that it can hear you coming! I say shit that normal folk consider offensive at times. I say shit that makes me appear to be an asshole but witty at the same time. This is my gift/curse and I wield it daily. Hold that thought...

Like many of you, I've got a gig. Ya' know, werk. That craptastic place where you gotta mask your contempt and smile, bullshit your way through the conversation and ACT like you give two shits. I have mastered this skill. The problem with being an all-star at something like this is that people you actually do care for, don't believe it. At crucial times, they think you're full of shit. You are constantly being judged and studied.. This creates a very shaky fucking place. Like a crackhouse for a pothead. It creates a constant disturbance in the force. Who ever it was that said, "Honesty is the best policy." must have been an absolute shitball of self loathing. Seriously. Being honest about how you feel is NEVER the right thing to do. If it was, then most fuckers would never get laid or land their dream job. Ok, I agree that being honest with your feelings is noble, but it's also a tightrope that I can only begin to teeter while writing.

I have recently begun to use this in my daily life. It's all about the tone. You are allowed to say what you feel as long as people aren't sure if you're kidding. The flip-side is if they ask you if you are indeed kidding. At which point you lie and say "Of course." This perplexing ordeal also has to do with timing. Maybe once I reach a certain plateau in my life (old age) will I be able to really express how I truly feel. Old folk are the other side of this coin that actually get to be brutally honest. If an old man calls you an asshole, you probably are an asshole. They don't have to butter the shit up for you. They can tell you anything because ultimately, they may die soon. They can also blame a medical condition or just being old. When they fart, dust comes out, they have lee-way.

The bottom line is say what you want, hope that people you care for don't take offense, if they do, and they stick by you, then they are being honest with themselves that YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE and at least they can believe in that.