Your Phone Sucks

Whoo Hoo!!  I can download all the porn, sports, pictures, music, and media I want!  I can stay connected whilst in a hole trapped under the Saharan Desert in an underground Osama Bin Laden owned brothel. I can receive my status updates during a nuclear holocaust, even if the cockroaches have to aid in my thumbing the letters.. Retarded! Come the fuck on my people?!? When are we going to learn that "Your phone is not a Symbol of Power!" I have, and I'm sure you have too, witnessed the douche bags who constantly place their phone in front of you, as if you care. Their endless pursuit of hoping that you might notice that it has the newest high tech features. Silly jizz ninjas! Planned Obsolescence! This is the idea that no matter whatcha got, The newer version has already been created, and the tech company is waitin for you to buy their old shit, so it can break down and you NEED to buy the new one! Hmm...! I got a phone. It does the basic shit. Calls, Texts, Takes pictures, has "The Imperial March" ringtone. That's it. No phoney baloney. (No pun intended) All of this ridiculous shit that is out nowadays is crazy. Not only is it Emo-App-TMZ-Video crazy but it's Amy Whinehouse crazy! I deal with SOO many people in my daily life who commonly put forth their phone as if to say, "Look at my phone. It has no numbers. It's touch. I am King." I'm happy for you. By the way, I think you're an idiot. You should go all the way and add the bluetooth contraption to your ear. Fuckin Dork! Maybe, just maybe, I'm alone in this. I doubt it though. You the reader wouldn't have followed me this far if I was. Phones are a part of our daily lives. We all wanna be connected. We all strive for acceptance. Call your mom. Tell her you love her. Tell her you spent 500 bucks on a gadget that will be obsolete in a year, even though your contract ends in two. Tell her you're behind on your phone bill. Tell her to give you some loot so you can still be cool among your friends. She'll be so proud. Maybe your mom has the same problem. Or be simple. Have a phone for that reason. A PHUCKING PHONE! okey dokey then.. ttyl.