Mormon iCANDi

When you aren't home, I sneak into your house. I put on your clothes and dance around your living room. Then, I carefully fold them the way you had them and put them back exactly the way they were. Then I get on facebook and click on every comment you make on someone elses page. Then I start sending death threats to said people. My name is iCandi and I am a Mormon.

Just kidding. I am not a Mormon. I have lots of friends who are Mormon. Nothing wrong with that. I just want to know what is up with those ads. I can't tell if they are trying to make it sound awesome or normal. To me it is strange, because what was their image before? What word got out that they need to normalize? It would get more peoples attention if it were to read like this. I am a professional midget wrangler. I will kill someone for five dollars. I enjoy eating live iguanas and I am a Mormon. If they had an ad like that I would be like fuck yeah!

Oh...but then I couldn't swear, drink, smoke, have COFFEE or sex with random strangers. Nevermind. I like all of the above. I will stick with my own religion which is the belief in me. Because I am awesome. Just saying.