There is no such thing as absolute apathy. However, I am diligently searching for it. I get to this point emotionally where I cannot take anymore and I shut down. It's a system fail safe.
The "man" is coming back for Thanksgiving. I toggle between dread and excitement. Dread because I haven't really had any communication with him for the past two weeks and excitement because fuck it.....I am getting some beeyotch. When all else is said and done, he is a pretty good lay.
Yes, yes I am aware that I am thinking with my vagoo. It's been awhile bitches, so back off. Don't get me wrong, because I love my electric boyfriend. I know where he has been and he doesn't complain when I don't want to cuddle. It's just that I am craving being touched.
Don't freak out. I am unfortunately human. I do have a softer side. I keep it locked away inside an almost impenetrable fortress made of bitchiness, ice and steel. Only an emotional polar bear could get through to me. Random fact: Polar bears can punch through three feet of ice to get to their prey. So the next time you are at the zoo, gazing through the plexi-glass that is assured to keep you safe...think again. Nature is scary. Now you get my analogy.
I am at a point where I just do not care. I figure if he is going to come back without any warning then he better not bitch about the house. I am the one who has to adjust their routine. If he is gonna come back and be a dick, then he at least better put out and give me money. I know I sound like a prostitute, but hey you do what you gots to do.
I guess I need to put out another ad on Craigslist....sigh.