Thursday, December 16, 2010

Parlez-vous Francais?

I realize that lately I may or may not have been extremely hard on the man. It really isn't entirely his fault. I blame the rapist. They switched up my medication. It's hard to keep track of the plethora of emotions I go through in one hour much less one day. I did mention I hate when that happens didn't I?

I have been told on numerous occasions that I am one fucked up bitch or that I am seriously fucking disturbed. Hello?!?!?!?! I am a seriously fucking disturbed bitch. In fact, I am pretty sure that I have gender identity issues. The only people who really identify with me are men. I would like to give you a tiny peek inside the twisted labyrinth that is Icandi..

If someone asks me what is my favorite color I always say blood. If someone asks me "Habla Espanol?" I say, "Parlez-vous français?" One time someone actually said "Oui!" and I replied, "Oh, well I don't!"

I also do not really care for chick flicks. They are stupid and predictable. My female friends have sworn that one day I will watch "The Notebook" and that I will cry. I told them that if they do make me watch that horror, THEY will assuredly be the ones crying.

I watch horror movies for giggles. I don't like monkeys or is it monkies? It would seem that monkies would be plural......sorry I had a SQUIRREL!!! moment (Dug, 2009).

Most people are given a blood alcohol test to determine their intoxication level. I am given an alcohol blood test. It is much easier to determine how much blood I have then how much alcohol. I love alcohol. So much easier and cheaper than the rapist....

I would say that I digressed and went off point. That isn't true there never was a point. That is the beauty of being me. I never get tired of me writing about how awesome I am. I am just so awesome. Goddamn I love me.


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