Sunday, January 23, 2011

Unmasked Icandi

If a ninja assassin was "special", do you think he/she would kill for hugs? Just wondering. These are the type of things that pop into my head randomly. In between thinking about sex. Oh yes, I think about sex quite a bit. Yes my darlings, women think about sex more often than you think.

In conversation I quite frequently blurt out these things. This is usually met with mixed reaction. Such as confusion, horror or just a just a blank stare. I have been accused of having some form of Tourettes. But since I already swear profusely, I think my Tourettes would manifest itself quite differently.

Instead of randomly screaming things like "fucking cockholster whore bitch", I would scream, "Omigod I love your hair!". My Tourettes would be all niceties and compliments. My theory is that if Tourettes makes you say inappropriate things, for me to scream out nice things would be out of character and inappropriate for me.

Well, that is all for today chickadees. I lost my rubber chicken mask. I have to go find it. I like to go to random people's homes and hide in their bushes at night wearing nothing but the mask. It's really quite funny when I jump out at them, and I have become a fantastic runner for when they call the cops. I am thinking I need to step up my game and hire a mariachi band to start playing when I jump out....


Demented Duchess on January 27, 2011 at 1:49 PM said...

First off, let me answer your initial question. I have unfortunately known many fucktards, aka "special" folk, who, deservedly or not, believe they are ninja assassins and, no, I do not believe they they would kill for hugs. They might trip you up and maybe cross the personal space barrier far too often, but killing would not be in their playbook.

Secondly, hell yes, women do think about sex extremely often. Maybe not quite as often as men, but a fair percentage, none-the-less.

Thirdly, Tourettes is a serious fucking thing. People who don't understand your goddamn syndrome need to step off, for fuck's sake! To bear the burden of speaking softly and sweetly in certain circumstances (say that 3x fast) can be brutal! So take heart and know that there is at least this bitch out there that feels your pain and torment.

Anyone who dons a kick-ass rubber chicken mask to keep his cardio up, and in doing so, everyone's insurance premiums down, is alright in my book, goddamn it! Take it slow and build up to the mariachi band. It will attract more attention to your location and thus bring the po-po on your ass that much sooner. We don't want you burning out before your time.


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