Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Mothers, Stop Dressing Your Daughters Like Whores

The other day I was driving down the street, as is sometimes my want, when I seen a scantily clad maiden showing off some nice tits and an even nicer ass. I was all like "Damn girl" and my penis got hard. Then I got close enough to see her face. Turns out, I'm a pedophile bastard.

Not really. I offer up another explanation: her parents are whore-mongers.

Back in the days I was a wee lad, women did indeed dress like whores. Little girls, however, dressed like little girls. There was a distinction between the two. 12 year old girls didn't wear playboy shorts and halter tops. It was unheard of. In decent society anyways.

Not so in the present day. I blame bad parenting.

"Oh, but little Zoey is so cute in her pink bootie shorts!" Guess what, mom? Rapists think the same thing. So do serial killers, drunk frat kids, and sadly enough, normal guys on the street.

So many people make a big deal about protecting their kids from predators while encouraging them to dress like a Thai hooker on the Chinese new year. Newsflash: shit like that is counterproductive to raising a decent child. If you don't agree with me, there is a chemical fire right outside. Go jump in it and die.

Recently it has also come to my attention that certain crusaders are prowling Facebook looking for creepy people adding their kids profiles. To this I say only one thing. What the fuck does your kid need a Facebook for? Are you a goddamn idiot? The U.S. Child Privacy Law states that you have to be at least 13 to post on any internet forum. If your 12 year old has a Facebook you should not be trying to point out how wrong it is for some creepy Mexican to try to add them, you should be investigated by CPS and have your children removed from your home until you learn how to be a fucking parent and keep them away from adult things.

And if you think your little girl looks 'cute' dressed as a whore, you are worse than a pedophile. Chris Hansen, if he were here, would want you to have a seat and explain yourself. Raise your kids to be decent folk and they will be decent folk, raise them to be whores and natural selection will take care of the rest.


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