Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Midgets and Machetes

I miss my "Ex" but my aim is improving. Damn right! Many nights, I've sat alone with my machete and red Rambo headband on just "cleaning" the blade.. We've all been with that "one".. The one you wished for a passenger train to fall out of the sky and crush into 6 trillion pieces. Or maybe, you just wanted to cut off their eyelids and feed them sleeping pills. The one who you truly wished you could have tied up in your basement so you could slap the shit out of them whenever you felt the need. That one!

It's possible you are living with the craptastic slug of your life now. If so, switch to rubber, laminated, eating utensils. The kind that babies use for baby food.. I however am different. I've never had a "Good Break-up". A "Civil Parting". I hold grudges. I carry and unload the old baggage on the new "one". It's good to create allies. So many people are running around with their "soul mate" and are only doing it for the kids or financial gain. I'm hip. I understand the draw. I'd stay with the mom from "Little People Big World" purely because she's a rich milf midget. Don't judge. I'm entitled to my own likes. When the flame dies out, be assured, I'd want her gagged and bound so I could flick lit cigarettes at her. I like to leave a lasting impression.

Cruel as it may sound my friends, this is actually a natural feeling. The desire to make others feel pain due to our own jealous or narcissistic ways is relatively a normal way to go about things. (Keep in mind my idea of normal is disturbing to everyone who doesn't read my work.) If you have never felt this way, tell me where the fuck you met this anomaly. Maybe you're actually the one who has been donkey punched and flogged repeatedly over the years, in which case, I'm jealous and would like to see pics. Otherwise, I'm very interested in your EX, mainly because I'd enjoy babbling back and forth with you on your ability to lie to yourself. Until this person comes forth, I will just keep on sharpening my machete and wait for my rich midget princess to arrive.

1 comments:

Much Poopies! on September 22, 2010 at 3:05 PM said...

holy poopies! =O Thats da farting poopies, man!

smoochies though!

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