Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Sunday Bloody Sunday

I would like to start off by saying, fucking stupid ass, mother bitch, cock sucking whore monger.….but I digress.

I was advised by my male counterparts that I needed to swear profusely and no, I don’t have Tourettes’. So there you go. The sad thing is if I reeeeallly wanted to I can/could do everything (includes cursing) that they can do (but don’t) and BETTER! Except pee standing up. DAMN YOU CROM!

It was actually pretty cathartic to let it out like that. It’s shark week bitches and by shark week I mean Mother Fucking Nature is making her house call. That’s right I am on my period. So hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife..werd.

“I ain’t got time to bleed.” No, seriously, I don’t. Do you know how much it interferes with my life?!?!?!?! I get these weird sensations, which I have been told are “emotions “and “feelings”. Ugh. Squirrel, please. The other 28 days, I have a one feeling per day. Pray you get a good one.

I start wanting a husband, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence….excuse me….I just threw up a little in my mouth. This is just an example of genetic coding that is imbedded into my DNA, simply because I don’t have the Y chromosome. When I take over the world, I am going to have that code removed.

Otherwise most of the time, with the exception of camping, I heart being a gurl. If I told you why, then I would have to kill you. Just kidding, but seriously, I would have to kill you. Chums in the water…

Hugs and Kisses,



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