Monday, October 18, 2010

Kept Woman for a Sammich!

I give up. I give up on ever having a stable, normal relationship. I shouldn't be suprised. After all, I failed e-Harmony. So far, I'm the only woman I know who has, the others are all men. Currently, I am "not" in a relationship with a guy that is away. However, I am living in his house, driving his car and he is paying all the bills. Not to mention, sending me presents and money randomly. Hmmmm. If according to him, "we" are not in a relationship then that would make me a very high maintenance house sitter or a hooker. Given that we are not in close proximity, I am going with the first one.

I really am getting the better deal of this arrangement. My only concern is that when he comes back I will have to find another place to live. Don't get me wrong, I truly do care for this much as I am capable of. I just feel that someone with 6+ years on me would not be such a pigheaded, stupid, lying motherfucker. I really need to stop repressing my feelings. I heard it can be bad for you.

So here it is. Bottom line, you are either in or out. Literally. If you want to hit this then be honest with me. If you want to hit everything else, then say bye bye. I have no problem with getting some strange, as long as me or the strange doesn't have a someone else. I have enough drama in my life without having some crazy ass bitch screaming that she is gonna kick my ass. Bitch, please. I don't respond well to threats. Come at me with your nails and hair pulling. You will get kicked straight up in the pussy.

You can only throw your dick/pussy on the crap table (not talking about anal it is an analogy people) so many times before you wind up with some horrifically disgusting genital mutilating disease. I am not a snow white virgin. Unless, you can be a born again virgin for the 30th time. I maybe fudging that number a bit, but I digress.

All I am saying is put your goddamn big boy pants on and act like a fucking man. Do I have to do EVERYTHING?!?!?!? You tell me that I act like a man, well someone has to. If you don't, I will think that you don't actually have a penis and that it is just a covering to keep stray elements out of your pussy. That being said, if I want vagina Imma gonna get me some real vagina. I totally can and you know this.

Step up to the plate or get the fuck outta my way. I am not standing here waiting so I can be fucked over again. Well, I always have my toys. At least, I know where they have been and who they have been with and I can slap myself on the ass and tell me to go get me a sammich.


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