Monday, October 25, 2010

"Le sac De douche" (iCANDi)

All women are crazy. Seriously. Female readers before you start getting angry and start protesting, hear me out. All women are crazy for one reason and one reason alone. We do the same thing over and over expecting different results. The only exception to this rule is lesbians.

Men. We think they will change or they will improve. Let's face it. It. Will. NEVER. Happen. There is no "Mr. Right" or your perfect match. There is no one single person out there who is your ultimate mate. There are just people who are best, good, ok and bad for you.

This is also subject to change. Sometimes people are good for you for awhile and then they simply are not. Then there are the people who are ok for you and turn out to be the best. I have never experienced the latter. I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I have been known to drink vodka like a Russian with a head cold or that I like eeny, meeny, miney, moe my men. Just kidding, I don't do that.....anymore. The men thing. Not the vodka. I heart vodka.

If I could go back in time and talk to myself, I would go back to when I was 18. Then I would bitchslap the shit out of me and tell me to go full on lesbian. I met the wrong guy and gave him the wrong finger. Now I just meet the wrong guys. I realize I subconsciously pick a guy who will turn out to be an extremely psychotic douchebag or as the French would say "Le sac De douche". It cracks me up just to write that.

Don't worry, I will not stay morbid or rant on every post. Ok I lied, I will rant in every post. The rapist is changing my medications and it is reigning havoc on my mood. Don't freak out. I don't have access to the military mainframe and I will not start a nuclear war.....heh. Just think if I was OFF the meds. Cue maniacal evil laughter.....


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