Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Vajazzle Love Hewitt!

I have a vagina. Her name is iCandi Applepod. Just playing, my vagina does not have a moniker. My vagina does not NEED a moniker. Nor does my vagina need any accessories such as piercings, tattoos, or the now infamous Vajazzle. I had a serious woman crush on Jennifer Love until then.

Why you ask? Because! LADIES..if you feel that the ONLY way you will get a man to have sex with you is by making your nethers sparkly, then damn. Now, I have seen some fugly pink tacos. But men usually don’t care what the hell your vagina looks like. There are exceptions. I mean, if you could jump out of an airplane naked and not use a parachute, well there is always labiaplasty. Or, for example, if you could pull the sides out and sing, “Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, BATGINA!!!” you might have an ugly pussy.

Now, I have been told I have a pretty pussy. I am not talking myself up. Personally, I have never really stared at my pussy. If I could look at it that close, I would not need a boy and/ or girl friend. I do know that Vajazzle is not something I need to get a little strange. Maybe Jennifer should work on her technique or learn how to give awesome head. If she needs Vajazzle to make her sex life interesting…just saying.

Still, this being said, I would do her. Hell, I would happily give her lessons in anything she would like. So call me k? Oh and Jenn, leave the ugly ass men that you have been trotting around at home. If you GOTS to bring a man, hit Sam Worthington up for me…but make sure he dresses up like that blue thingy that he voiced for Avatar. Just to make it interesting. See? Vajazzle need not apply.


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