Thursday, September 22, 2011

iCandi Lezbehonest

This is it. I have officially decided to become a lesbian. I already was leaning in that general direction. I have been told by numerous lesbians that it can't be a choice. That it just happens. I want to know why. Why can't I switch teams mid-game?I like both men and women and have tried to play the ahem "straight and narrow' with strictly men. However, that is not working so well for me.

I want to try being a lesbian for awhile just to switch things up. Is that so wrong? Women are nice. They smell good (usually) and feel good (most of the time). They are soft and pliant and oh so beautiful (some of them).

But when I really think about it, I most likely wouldn't have any better luck with women than I would with men. With my luck, I would end up with a prissy princessy bitch type. You know, someone who would nag me all the time and throw temper tantrums and call me names in public. Oh and she would probably cheat on me the whole time with a dude. Yeah, mebbe being a lesbian isn't such a hot idea.

I would like to be a card carrying member though. I am going to start going to the gay bars and see how I do. In the past, it seemed as though I was doomed to be a love toy fag hag for gay boys. Not that I ever did, mind you, it just seemed that way. I don't know if I should be flattered that so many gay dudes wanted to bang me. I think it was because I was the closest they were going to get to banging a girl who was more like a guy without actually looking like a guy.

If I am not making sense, it is because I am highly intoxicated. I heart vodka. When all else fails, vodka is there. It soothes the empty void and makes everything else inconsequential. I couldn't afford Ketel One so I bought Skyy.. the sacrifices one makes in this recession.

So I think I will leave this to a vote. Should iCandi try lesbianism or not? Let me know. I will weight your opinions carefully depending on my level of inebriation. This may be the Skyy talking but I love you guys. Yep, it's the Skyy talking. Damn cheap liquor. Peace out my lovelies. Till next time. XOXO Gossip Girl....oh fuck... I just went into prime time daydream mode..


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