I brought my co-workers a cake for Christmas. I had the peeps at the bakery put "God's Gift to You." Some looked at me askance because apparently they don't believe in God. They asked me if I was trying to send a Christmas message. I told them that no it wasn't. It literally was a gift from God. Some got it. Most didn't.
Since the rapist adjusts my meds according to my specifications, I have been calmer. Yes. I manipulate my doctor to give me what I want. I know how to stay this side of sane to get what I need. She doesn't realize that I am basically prescribing my own meds.
After the meds started kicking in, I examined my recent rage and despair. I realized that I truly do not want to be in a relationship with anyone. I relayed this information to the man. Apparently, it is ok for him to not want to be in a relationship but not for me. He informed me that he was a bad influence. He also told me that if I left I would fail.
That made me lulz so hard. Explain to me how leaving a trailer and someone who makes me feel like shit..failure. I feel sorry for him. He tries so hard to be apathetic. That is his epic fail. If you are trying to be apathetic...eh...you don't get it.
I know that I have made him sound like a complete douchebag assfarmer. Well. He is, but he is/was my douchebag assfarmer. He is also one of my best friends and will remain that way. I think I may actually be growing up. I love him, but I never was in love with him. I don't think I am capable of that.
So while I am not prowling...I kinda want a boy toy. I want someone who will respond to text messages at 11:00 at night for servicing and who will perform admirably and leave promptly. I don't even require a last name. I don't want to meet your mama or your frenz. I don't want to cuddle or converse. I just require you to pleasure me and in return you will get what you gave.
So fuck it. I am going to be self-centered and it is all about moi...cuz lets face it...I am the epitome of fabulosity.