Friday, December 24, 2010

I Popped my Cherry at Wal-Mart

Do you know what irritates me to no end? People. Walmart. People in Walmart....but not People of Walmart. It's really a love/hate relationship..not people..Walmart. It is a hate/hate relationship with people. Walmart does have deliciously low prices, but FUCK I cannot STAND the majority of the people who shop there.

It's like snow for me. I love to look at pictures of snow, but I hate being in it. I love the People of Walmart website. It gives me lulz. But I hate being in Walmart. Though I do have to admit to literally chasing a lady around the store for twenty minutes to try and get her picture.

She was a beaut. Rocking the beer gut in her daisy dukes, string bikini top, flip-flops....all while dragging her five year old daughter around like a water-skier in the wake of a runaway speedboat. Rawr. Sexay.

I was shaking like chihuahua on crack with excitement. I got my first pic of a person of Walmart. She didn't even notice me following her around like a creeper. Mebbe she was related to Britney...hmmm. Unfortunately, the pic didn't really do her justice. But it was my first. Pop. There went that cherry.

Now, thanks to P of W website I feel obliged to brush my hair, teeth, shower, and not wear my pimp boots with the goldfish in the heels to shop. Thank so much for ruining that one spark of happiness in my life. But thank you. Thank you for bringing to me via the internet the joys of laughing hysterically at people in Walmart without having to physically be there.

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