Saturday, January 1, 2011

Jesper's Resignation.

January 1st, 2011
Re: Stepkid Richard

Dear Sir,
This letter is a formal notice of my abrupt departure from your God forsaken company Angry Step Kid® LLC. There are numerous reasons I no longer wish to be employed by your awful, unsavory, and notorious company. They are as follows..

1.) During my interview process, not only did you Stepkid Richard ask for my view about midget pornography, but you asked what size bra my wife wore. I am 100% sure you were belligerently intoxicated.

2.) After I told you of my religious beliefs, you mocked me and told me that "I would change once I knew the truth."

3.) I asked you Stepkid Richard not to involve me in any criminal activity, and you offered me ecstasy and marijuana cigarettes. (Both of which are illegal substances.)

4.) While performing my duty as "Chauffeur" you required me to reside at your residence 6 out of 7 days every week. Only giving me one day off for my day of worship.

5.) Against my moral wishes, you Stepkid Richard forced me to view the degradation of women in seedy environments such as your beloved "Jiggly Room" and "Gerbil Herders". I hate you for this.

6.) You Stepkid Richard scolded me for not engaging in disrespectful conversation and a name calling game you called "friendly gay bashing". This is very unacceptable behavior regardless of how funny you think it is!

7.) On more than one occasion you spoke to my wife Orlinda with a total lack of respect or disregard for the fact that she is my wife. Orlinda is NOT a "money grubbing, triflin', dick socket." as you so rudely stated. 

8.) For the record, I have never, nor will I ever consume alcoholic beverages. Sneaking sips from your flask while you were passed out has NEVER happened and never crossed my mind.

9.) I agreed to the sum of $300.00 a week, to drive you. This is true. I did not agree to be at your beckon call 24hrs a day. 

10.) You are an unbelievable jerk! I hope that the Lord punishes you for your blatant trespasses and constant taunting of his teachings. I wish only the worst for you. I have no reservations about "Trying to save you". Your mantra of "Laugh till you get there." only confirms the simple fact that you sir, ARE going to Hell. Yes, Stepkid Richard you are!

In short, I quit! A million times over, I quit! I am firing you Stepkid Richard! Not the other way around as you would have liked. If you use any media outlet to hire another driver, I will make it my life's work to warn them about you. You are a warped and twisted individual Stepkid Richard. I never want to see you or hear your name ever again.

Signed: Jesper Hollis Jr.


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