Thursday, June 2, 2011

Nighty Night Soldier..

So I am back and I remembered why I did what I did. I almost wish that I wasn't so clever and had to stay on the lam a little while longer. I so didn't need to come right back into the same old drama. Do you remember the movie 'Groundhog Day'? Oh yea. That is what it is like with my old man aka Douchebag. DB for short.

He is completely predictable in his penchant for assholishness. I will ask a question knowing full well what the answer will be and that it will be a lie. Why oh why am I with this person. Oh yeah. He pays for my shit. I was told that older men are better, because they are more mature. What so they act like 18 year olds instead of 15 year olds? Tell me how that is better.

He is coming back from deployment. Ugh. I mean HOORAY! Anyday now. I am simply thrilled. If by thrilled, you mean crying and throwing temper tantrums. I think that the military needs to disperse his orders based on my moods. So next set of orders please.

He recently changed his fb status to say that he is in a relationship....with someone else. Meanwhile, back at the batcave aka home..iCandi sits patiently and faithfully waiting....hahahahaahahah! I couldn't even keep a straight face TYPING that. But seriously, RESPECT dood!

All our mutual friends and the majority of our family members know we are in a pseudo relationship that has carried on well over a year. I live in your house and you pay all the bills. Then you have the gall to tell me it is a joke, but haven't really called me or texted me in like two weeks. Really? Don't be a effing cumstain. This is NOT my first rodeo and you won't be the first clown that falls into the bullshit.

I have given you every opportunity to have your cake and eat it too without having to do it in the dark. All I have asked is that you allow me the same privileges. Don't be greedy and stingy. I also don't understand why you have to lie when you know that I know better.

Moral of this story is stand up, take it like a man and be honest. Remember you ALWAYS fall asleep first..and you have sleep apnea...just saying.


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